Life of an Autistic Child: The Female Peculiarity
By Asiya AbdulRahman
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is often described in broad strokes, but its impact can be deeply personal and unique. For girls, autism sometimes takes on a different face, harder to detect, and often masked by behaviors that allow them to “blend in.” Through the eyes of a mother and the lens of psychology, the journey of raising a daughter with autism highlights both challenges and triumphs.
This is Sofia’s story, a girl living with autism. The signs first appeared when her daughter was two. While her peers were forming words, she remained silent. By age three, she had developed repetitive hand-clapping, a behavior that raised concern.
“When the diagnosis came, I cried my eyes out,” her mother recalls. “I felt bad as a human being and as a mother. As a parent, you want the best for your child, so it was hard to take in.”
But over time, the family learned that autism didn’t mean the end of Sofia’s future. It just meant a different journey, her mother added.
The Daily Challenges
Communication became the first major hurdle. Sofia struggled to express herself to other children and often soiled herself, which drew attention in school. Yet, her mother is grateful for the support system around her. Teachers learned to understand her cues, and her father became her best friend the one person with whom she could talk endlessly.
Her daughter expresses affection uniquely, dragging children by the hand to play and hugging adults with a radiant smile. But behind those bright moments lie invisible struggles. At times, she breaks down in tears for no apparent reason, needing only the comfort of a hug. “Being her parent has really changed me and her mum. We now understand the real meaning of love and patience,” her father reflects.
The family’s journey has also been shaped by societal misconceptions. “At first, my parents thought it was diabolical. They took her to different churches, believing someone was behind her condition,” she says with a faint smile. Over time, love replaced superstition, and the child grew up surrounded by acceptance and care.
The School That Listens
One bright spot in Sofia’s journey has been her school. Instead of pushing her aside or labeling her, her teachers made a conscious effort to understand her. They took time to learn her “language” the little signs and routines that help her feel safe.
Her class teacher said, “Even if Sofia doesn’t say she wants to use the toilet, I make sure I check at certain times.”
The school management said, “We have adjusted classroom routines to include her, and we make sure her small wins are celebrated. We care for her and make sure she’s not left out in school activities.”
Understanding Autism from a Psychological Perspective
Dr. Umar, a psychologist, said, “Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a developmental condition characterized by challenges with social interaction, communication, and repetitive behaviors. These characteristics can significantly impact daily functioning and an individual’s quality of life, leading to stress and anxiety. The presentation of ASD can include difficulties with reciprocal conversation, intense focus on specific interests, a strong preference for routines, and repetitive movements like hand-flapping or rocking. Sensory sensitivities, unusual speech patterns, and difficulties with emotional expression are also common.”
He also highlighted that, “the impact extends to families, who may face caregiver stress, financial burdens from specialized care, and a need to change daily routines. At a societal level, ASD influences community support systems, educational opportunities, and employment, highlighting the need for more inclusive systems.”
Dr. Umar also added that, “adolescent females with ASD face unique challenges that can differ from their male counterparts. They are more likely to experience intensified internalizing mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression, and may have a higher risk of developing eating disorders. This is often compounded by difficulties in navigating female friendships and a tendency to ‘mask’ their autistic traits by imitating peers to fit in. This masking, while an attempt to gain social acceptance, can lead to exhaustion, social exclusion, and a later diagnosis. Their symptoms can also be more subtle, with advanced language and imitation skills potentially hiding their true social difficulties. The onset of puberty can further amplify these challenges, making tailored, individualized support systems crucial for this group.”
Psychologists explain that autism manifests through difficulties in social communication, restricted interests, and repetitive behaviors. However, girls often present differently compared to boys, which contributes to underdiagnosis or late diagnosis.
Friendships, especially in female peer culture where emotional closeness is valued, can be particularly difficult. Autistic girls may struggle to keep up with the subtleties of conversation and the unwritten rules of female social groups. This can lead to isolation, despite appearing outwardly engaged.
Puberty adds another layer of complexity. Hormonal changes amplify emotions, making it harder to regulate stress or cope with sensory overload. Psychologists emphasize the need for extra care and tailored support for autistic girls.
Challenges Beyond the Child
Autism doesn’t affect only the individual; it reshapes family dynamics. Parents often face caregiver stress, financial strain, and emotional exhaustion. For this mother, however, her daughter’s condition reshaped her perspective on life.
“Her condition made me understand that physically challenged children need love and care. The love I had for her increased. People around me love her so much, sometimes I even feel jealous of the attention she gets,” she says warmly.
The story underscores the importance of community support. Teachers, relatives, and neighbors who take time to learn her daughter’s needs have made the journey less isolating. Simple acts like understanding when she needs to use the toilet or responding to her hugs contribute to her well-being.
Toward Inclusion and Support
Autistic girls like Sofia highlight the urgent need for awareness that goes beyond stereotypes. Their challenges may not always be loud or visible, but they are real. Recognition, early intervention, and empathy are key.
Society must also address broader barriers like educational inclusion, employment opportunities, and public health policies that support families. With the right systems, autistic girls can thrive, express themselves, and live fulfilling lives.
As her mother puts it, “I am grateful to God for her life. She has taught me patience, love, and gratitude. Even in her silence and her struggles, she remains a gift.”
And while the journey is ongoing, Sofia’s story shows that with love, patience, and the right support, every child, autistic or not, can thrive.
